So as I was sitting here this week trying to come up with this week’s article, I found myself in a state that I REALLY don’t like…. indecision. What was I going to call this thing? How exactly should I present it? Would anybody be interested, has this problem ever come up for them, or is it just me?
It took me a lot longer than it usually does to sit down and start writing because I couldn’t come up with a way to start. And all of the ways I wanted to spin it, I still wasn’t sure it was what I wanted to say, if it was worth writing about, la, la, la….And most importantly, could it deliver any real value to you, my treasured readers? So found myself jumping in and starting to think about it–a lot. Do I want to say this? Should I put it that way? Maybe I should chuck it altogether and talk about something else this week! So I was both spinning and stagnated about writing an article about indecision and inaction due to over thinking.
But actually……it just might be. The more I let it settle, the more I started to remember the reason why I wanted to talk about indecision and over-analyzing. Because it stops action. I was living my example just as I sat here looking at the blank screen, coming up with reasons not to write. Remembering what happens when you think yourself into a stupor rather than just try something out. It puts a halts clarity and happiness.
And above all else, I hate to say it, folks, but excessive analysis and over thinking only ends up being one thing, in my experience– it is an excuse.
That’s right, an excuse. An excuse not to try. And a trumped-up reason to let things stop.
But by NO means is it something that you should make yourself feel bad about if it happens to you. And it most certainly isn’t me telling you that you’re doing something wrong if you happen to fall into this trap. Happens to me all the time, happens to all of us. It’s OK that it happens. Really. (I mean, seriously, to me it just did!)
You just don’t want to let it stop you, that’s all!
Say you feel this burning desire in your soul to REALLY share something amazing. You have that awesome business idea. You want to start taking it seriously. You see yourself doing it, you can picture and actually start to FEEL what it might be like if you were living your life running your business, being that ground-breaking entrepreneur, singing your song and doing it every day. You’ve even decided on a day that you want to start pursuing your dreams in earnest.
But then something creeps in and starts whispering in your ear. Or maybe even screaming at you. What if nobody’s interested in buying? What if people laugh? What if I really embarrass myself? Or even worse, what if I can’t deliver what I promise to my clients and customers? What if I build a website and somebody hacks it? Or copies it? How can I stop all of this from happening? And what if I can’t?
Have any of these thoughts ever hit you right before you got just a little bit TOO happy envisioning your amazing life? Yeah, you’re not alone, there, my friends. It can be too easy to decide to prepare for disappointment rather than make room for joy. Too convenient to plan for disaster rather than expect miracles. We can’t help it sometimes.
What separates those of us who break through and pursue our dreams from those who don’t seems to me to come down to the chances that we’re willing to take. The balance between thinking it through and seeing in through. The more we’re willing to deal with the ever-terrifying unknown, the more likely we are to break on through to the other side….and find something astonishingly beautiful.
We just can’t get there by taking all of our time thinking up what might go wrong!
Now, it makes good sense to protect ourselves. I’m all about Plan B. Maybe even a C or a D, for good measure. But to give more time, attention, and creative energy to the contingency plans than to the “A” that you really want? Does that sound like a recipe for success? And moreover, does that even sound like any fun? Would that inspire you to move to new heights? Probably not. I’m not saying to ignore that things could go awry. I’m just saying to believe that everything that happens is for the right reasons….and that it is leading toward your highest good. That means putting your best efforts toward the most inspiring and exciting versions of the plan.
After all, when someone finds themselves spurned OUT of action because they are too focused on what might flop rather than what might fly, what’s the real reason for it all? I’d have to say, plainly and simply, that the bottom line is simply….I bet you can guess this one…Fear. Fear of disappointment. And pain. And embarrassment. And whatever else you can think of that would mess up your day, your week, your life, and your joy. Yep, it comes up. All the time. For everyone. That’s right, EVERYONE. I don’t care if you’re my eight-year-old niece or the Queen of England. So you’re in good company.
What sets YOU apart, the Creative Entrepreneur, the Lightworker, the Pursuer of the Awesome? You don’t let it stop you. Not indefinitely, anyway! So what are my particular action steps when all this “IDK” comes calling? Here’s what I do….and what you might like to try, too!
–Detach from outcome. Sure, you’ve heard it all before. But there’s a reason why we’ve all heard this one: It’s true. Things will show up in your life for the greatest good, if you let yourself see them. But maybe not necessarily in the EXACT way that you might think. So do what you need to do, but don’t cling too tightly to the result. I know, easier said, right?
If you are afraid of what might go wrong when contemplating a particular move, ask yourself these questions:
1) What if I allowed myself to feel the fear of of the worst happening without judging it? In other words, just felt it without trying to stop it but not hanging on to it, either? Just let it do its thing and be gone? Hmmmmm…….
Now, try that. When you feel the fear, let it be. Let it pass. And let it go away.
2) To paraphrase the brilliant Danielle LaPorte, when feeling fear about something, imagine what the exact opposite would be–that is, the good stuff—and put your faith and your love behind that instead of the fear. What if the best happened rather than the worst?
Now, feel how that would be.
3) Or, how about this: would the worst that you imagine really be so bad? In the cosmic order of things, would it really be so bad? Irrevocable damage, end-of-the world, absolutely un-fixable misery?
Be honest….unless you are in charge of providing the power supply to an entire nation or are responsible for whether or not countries go to war, probably not. Chances are that even the scariest thing you can imagine either won’t happen or could be fixed if it did.
Simply….take….action. That’s right, just do something. Something big, something small, something at all. It matters not just what. Test the waters a little and see what happens! Once you do this–make a phone call, put up a Social Media post and ask for help with something, send an email, or WHATEVER it might be–chances are you’ll feel that shift in your energy. A shift toward not speculating about but creating–and experiencing–the way that you want to feel. Don’t contemplate jumping for too long. Just jump. Action steps can be the best fear-squashers around. And it doesn’t always need to be an epic thing every single time, just a necessary thing. I repeat–you don’t have to do it ALL in one day! So don’t stress over that. Just a little bit. Every day. And let it all add up.
-Give faith to the solution, not fear to the “problem”
-The Worst probably isn’t so bad, the best is absolutely doable
-Take a few small steps, no matter what they are, and you’ll probably feel better instantly
-See what happens before you talk yourself out of it!
So that’s it! What do you think? What are some places where you feel confused and indecisive in your world? How do you get around them when they show up? Let me hear from you!
More next week, my loves!