Last week we talked about dreams, and what they need to be. And of course, we concluded that your dream needs only to be the most that you want to be, the biggest and brightest successful you that you–and only you– wish to be. Whatever that may be. 

Of course, we also looked at what really needs to happen for you to get there. And it isn’t always fun to think about, but we all know there are things that have to be done to get us on the road to our desired outcomes. Uncomfortable and un-fun stuff. But action needs to be taken in order to move on down the road, and sometimes any of us can find ourselves crashing into a wall of resistance. As in “I am sooo not wanting to do this. At all.” 

Then again, there are other “shoulds” that might get thrown around, too. Things that might’ve crossed your mind or been suggested by others, things that “everyone is doing” and that “need to be done”, or else. You should use this Social Media Outlet. You should get this speaking engagement. You should add this to your website. Or whatever the thing of the day happens to be. Much of what is said is great advice. Not all of it might be for you, though.

The key is knowing what is right for you in this moment. And discarding the rest. Now, knowing what is right doesn’t necessarily mean that it is going to feel perfect, either. I’m a big fan of doing what feels good and inspiring and exciting. Absolutely, I am. No question. If it feels good, expansive, and inspiring, if it comes from your heart, it probably is the right thing to do.

HOWEVER…. if you’re like the rest of us, I am sure that there are some things that are RIGHT for you to do that might not always feel ticklish. Somehow, though, I bet that when these feelings come up, something in you knows what would happen if you got them done. Not only would it set you forward but also it would also help you grow and learn, quell your fears and doubts (at least a little bit!), and make a big difference in your world. And ultimately help you feel a LOT more like the person that you want to be.

How awesome would that be?

Now….how do we accomplish making the determination between what is right and what is easy?

So here’s how I approach it: I always try my best to do what is RIGHT rather than just stick with what feels good. Sometimes what is right and what feels good are one and the same. Other times not. But here’s what I always ask myself when I’m not sure if something is a legitimate “have-to” for me or just another task that might be irrelevant for me and would only clutter the path.

How would if feel to get this done? To have accomplished this one thing? Does the idea of slaying this “dragon” inspire me?

If the answers are amazing, exciting, and YES!!, (in that order) then it’s probably time to get on it!

Let’s say that know you need to start testing the waters and sharing your ideas about the business you want to create on some kind of online forum. You know, just to share a bit about yourself and start getting some good feedback on your ideas. Now, you’re aware for sure that one way to do this is to get a blog started. Only the idea of it makes you feel like you’re stuck on a Tilt-A-Whirl right after lunch without any Dramammine. Ick, right?

But then reconsider. What would it feel like to have this done? Would it feel exciting and happy, as though you’d done something that you didn’t think you had the nerve to do? Something wouldn’t need to be worried about doing anymore? One less scary thing on the list?

I’d say that means it’s time to look into domain names and web hosting, sunshine!

But on the other hand, suppose that you were informed that you absolutely HAVE TO sign up for Facebook, Twittter, LinkedIn, all at once lalalala….but the idea of signing up for all of them at once just makes you want to scream. And the idea of keeping up with a jillion Social Media outlets (even with the help of a Social Media Manager like Hootsuite) sounds just flat-out irritating. Considering the possibility of it all doesn’t feel like you’re opening up, it feels like you’re shutting down. And getting irked about it, too.

Fair enough. Then just pick one favorite outlet and go with it. Add the others later if you’re so inclined.

But know the difference, and look at the possible outcome: does whatever it is you have on your list feel as though it would help you if you conquered it? Even if it is terrifying, would it be amazing just to get it off your chest? Then go for it. If it is more of an aggravation, though, a “not right now” kind of thing and you can genuinely say that it doesn’t feel right, then perhaps it’s not time.

You’re going to have to do things that are scary. Things that push you. But you don’t have to do absolutely everything. And you don’t have to do it all right now.

Bottom Line: If you know it would do great things for you but you’re too scared to try it, that’s cool. Do it anyway. Even if it is just a little bit of it.  If some task doesn’t seem like a good move at the moment and the very idea of it just leaves you annoyed? Then it’s probably not important right now.

But be honest either way. Trust how it comes to you in your heart. It generally doesn’t lie. Don’t sell yourself short but don’t beat yourself up, either. Don’t let fear or discomfort stop real progress. But don’t focus on things that are just extraneous noise in your world, either!

So is there anything that you’ve been avoiding that you know is the right thing for you? Or is there something that you’ve conquered recently that has made things happen for you or made you proud? I’d love to hear about it!

Leaving you with a message from Professor Dumbledore this week! Talk soon!



3 Comments on When You Resist Your To-Do List: Is It Annoyance or Avoidance?

  1. Merri
    May 20, 2015 at 9:16 am (2 years ago)

    Wonderful! This added so much clarity on “sorting” ! Thank you for asking for feedback on “scary moments we have conquered”. My latest…. Going back into my domain and at least looking at my website! Major breakthrough after (egad!) several months !

  2. Jennifer
    May 20, 2015 at 9:47 am (2 years ago)

    That is quite the achievement! Seems small but really it is huge, if it expands your comfort zone and makes it possible to move ahead more easily!

    • Merri
      May 20, 2015 at 9:47 pm (2 years ago)

      So true!! And, you are right in that I had thought-barbs about how much trouble I would have, how foolish U would feel, etc., etc! Boy, was I mountain climbing over molehills !! Thanks again for the great article today !!


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